You can get help for yourself right now, whether or not your loved one accepts treatment. Free family groups (Al-Anon, Nar-Anon, SMART Recovery Family & Friends), a CRAFT-trained therapist, your own counselor, and family therapy during treatment all help. The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) is free, confidential and open 24/7 to family members too.
Living with someone’s addiction wears you down, often before you notice. Support for families is not a detour from helping your loved one. In a 1999 randomized trial of three family approaches, family members’ own well-being improved about equally in every group, whether or not the loved one entered treatment.1 And family support matters to recovery. SAMHSA says family support can play a major role in a loved one’s recovery, and caregivers should protect their own health too.2
If you want phone numbers first, see our list of free, nonprofit helplines and family resources. This page is part of our section for families.
What support is available for families?
Several kinds of help are open to you today, and none require your loved one’s permission or progress. Groups give you company. A therapist gives you a plan. Family therapy works on relationships, usually during treatment.
| Option | What it is | Cost | Best when |
|---|---|---|---|
| Al-Anon (Alateen for teens) | Peer groups for family and friends affected by someone else’s drinking113 | Free | The problem is alcohol |
| Nar-Anon | Twelve Step peer groups for families and friends of people who use drugs3 | Free | The problem is drugs |
| SMART Recovery Family & Friends | Science-informed meetings for family and friends113 | Free | You want practical tools |
| CRAFT-trained therapist | A clinician who teaches you skills to look after yourself and encourage treatment3 | Varies; insurance may pay | They refuse help and you want a plan |
| Your own counselor | Individual therapy for your fear, anger, grief or depression | Varies; insurance may pay | You’re struggling to sleep or function |
| Family therapy | Sessions that bring partners or other family members into your loved one’s treatment11 | Ask the program; insurance may pay | They’re in treatment and agree |
| Family peer support | A trained peer who has a family member with a substance use or mental health condition4 | Varies by state and program | You want someone who’s been there |
Many families combine them, such as a weekly group plus a few CRAFT sessions.
Which kind of support fits you right now?
InteractiveWhat do you need most right now?
See possible outcomes
- Look for a CRAFT-trained therapist CRAFT teaches families to look after their own well-being and encourage their loved one toward treatment. Ask therapists directly whether they’re trained in it.
- Start with your own doctor or a counselor Tell your doctor what you’re living with, and ask your insurer for a licensed counselor. If you ever think about suicide, call or text 988.
- Ask the program about family sessions Some programs involve family members in treatment. Your loved one usually needs to agree and sign a release before staff can talk with you.
- Talk to the kids, and find them support Children need to hear that it isn’t their fault and they can’t fix it. Alateen is for teens affected by someone’s drinking.
- Try Al-Anon Free peer groups for people affected by someone else’s drinking. Try two or three meetings before deciding.
- Try Nar-Anon Free peer groups for families and friends of people who use drugs. Try two or three meetings before deciding.
- Try SMART Recovery Family & Friends Free skills-based meetings, in person and online.
What’s the difference between Al-Anon, Nar-Anon and SMART Recovery Family & Friends?
All three are free peer groups for family and friends; they differ in focus and style.
- Al-Anon is for family and friends affected by someone else’s drinking.11 Alateen is for younger family members.3 Meetings center on sharing experience.
- Nar-Anon is for families and friends of people who use drugs. Like Al-Anon, it follows a Twelve Step format.3
- SMART Recovery Family & Friends is a science-informed alternative to Twelve Step groups.311 SMART Recovery meets in person and online.12
Know what each one is for. Al-Anon’s purpose is support for you, not getting your loved one into treatment. In that 1999 trial, which involved families of people with drinking problems, 13% of loved ones entered treatment when families used an Al-Anon-focused approach, versus 64% with CRAFT.1 That doesn’t make Al-Anon a poor choice. It means that if your goal is treatment entry, add CRAFT skills for encouraging treatment rather than relying on a group alone.
Meetings vary a lot, even within the same organization.13 Try two or three before you decide, or try one online if you can’t get out at night.
Is family therapy worth it?
Often, yes, if your loved one is in treatment and agrees to it. In studies cited by NIAAA, strong family support through family therapy raised the chances of staying sober from alcohol, compared with individual counseling.11 SAMHSA says family therapy can improve treatment by supporting the whole family.2
Family therapy is different from counseling for you. It usually runs through your loved one’s program, and for an adult, staff generally can’t discuss their care with you until they sign a consent form. See how release forms work. Your own counselor needs no one’s consent but yours.
Ask the program early whether its family program is a lecture, a group, or sessions with a therapist for your family.
How do I know if I’m burning out?
You may be burning out if worry is running your life and your sleep, health or mood are slipping. Tick any that have been true most days lately. There’s no score. If several apply, get support this week.
Am I running on empty?
What to do next:
- Tell your own doctor what’s happening at home.
- If you’re thinking about suicide or feel you can’t go on, call or text 988. The 988 Lifeline is free and open 24/7 by call, text or chat for suicidal thoughts, substance use or other distress.5 It’s for you, not only your loved one.
Your safety comes before any conversation about treatment. If there’s violence or a threat of violence, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233, can help you make a safety plan. For overdose or medical danger, see what to do right now.
What can I do this week to take care of myself?
Pick two or three small steps rather than overhauling your life.
- Go to one meeting, in person or online. Put it on the calendar.
- Call the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357. It’s free, confidential, open 24 hours a day, and serves family members as well as the person using.6 It gives referrals to local services; it doesn’t provide counseling itself.6
- Protect your sleep. If another adult can be the emergency contact some nights, silence your phone.
- Protect your money. Separate accounts and pay bills directly instead of giving cash. See boundaries versus enabling for how to do this without cutting your loved one off.
- Tell one trusted person the truth about what’s happening.
- Check your job’s options. If your employer has an Employee Assistance Program, it’s a free, confidential service that can help with drug and alcohol problems.7 Federal FMLA can also cover leave to care for a close family member in substance use treatment, if you and your employer meet the law’s eligibility rules.8 See who qualifies for job-protected leave.
- Read SAMHSA’s introductory guide for families on mental health and substance use care.9
For example, Maria’s son Chris, 24, had used pills for two years and refused treatment. Maria hadn’t slept a full night in months. Her first Nar-Anon meeting felt like a poor fit, so she tried an online SMART Recovery Family & Friends meeting and kept going. Her doctor referred her to a CRAFT-trained counselor. Chris was still using, but Maria was sleeping again, kept naloxone in the house, and had a plan for when he said yes.
How do I help the rest of the family, including the children?
Get the adults on the same page, and make sure every child has a safe adult to talk to. You’re far from alone: in an average year from 2009 to 2014, about 1 in 8 U.S. children lived with at least one parent who had a past-year substance use disorder, based on SAMHSA survey data.10
- Children need to hear, in words that fit their age, that it isn’t their fault and they can’t fix it. Steady routines help. Alateen is for younger family members affected by someone’s drinking.3 Our guide to talking with children about a family member’s addiction has age-by-age words.
- Siblings, grandparents and other relatives often disagree about what to do. Mixed messages, like one parent giving money while the other refuses, make it harder for everyone. A family or CRAFT therapist can help the adults agree.
What should I ask before choosing a therapist or group?
Ask about licensing, training and fit before the first session.
Questions to ask a therapist or group
- For a therapist
- For a group
What are common myths about family support?
Common misconceptions
Support is for families whose loved one is already in recovery.
Tap to see the factsFamily groups, counseling and the SAMHSA Helpline are open to you now, whether or not your loved one accepts help.6
Taking care of myself means giving up on them.
Tap to see the factsFamily members in the CRAFT trial felt better in every approach, whether or not their loved one entered treatment.1 A rested you is better placed to help.
A support group will get my loved one into treatment.
Tap to see the factsGroups support you. If treatment entry is your goal, CRAFT did far better than an Al-Anon-focused approach in a head-to-head trial.1
Frequently asked questions
Do I need my loved one's permission to go to a group or see a therapist?
No. Family groups and counseling are for you, and you can start them without telling your loved one. Family therapy through a treatment program is different, because it involves your loved one’s care and usually needs their agreement.
Will my insurance pay for counseling for me?
Many plans cover outpatient mental health care, but benefits vary. Call the number on your insurance card and ask about in-network therapists and your cost per session. If you have no coverage, ask the SAMHSA Helpline about low-cost local options.6
What if my loved one gets angry that I'm going to a group?
Keep it simple and about you: “I’m going for me, on Tuesdays.” You don’t need to share what you say there. If their anger turns into threats, put safety first: call 911 if you’re in danger now, or the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) for help with a safety plan.
Sources
- Miller WR, Meyers RJ, Tonigan JS — Engaging the unmotivated in treatment for alcohol problems: a comparison of three strategies for intervention through family members. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (1999). pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10535235/ — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Helping Families Cope with Mental Health and Substance Use Disorders (updated August 2026). samhsa.gov/mental-health/children-and-families/coping-resources — accessed Oct 2026
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Whole Health Library — Substance Use (2014, updated 2019). va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/docs/substance-use.pdf — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Frequently Asked Questions: Core Competencies for Peer Workers (updated March 2026). samhsa.gov/substance-use/recovery/peer-support-workers/core-competenci… — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. samhsa.gov/mental-health/988 — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — National Helpline. samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Help for mental health, drugs, alcohol: No Insurance. samhsa.gov/find-support/health-care-or-support/professional-or-program… — accessed Oct 2026
- eCFR — 29 CFR 825.119, Leave for treatment of substance abuse. ecfr.gov/current/title-29/subtitle-B/chapter-V/subchapter-C/part-825/s… — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Navigating Mental Health and Substance Use Care: An Introductory Guide for Families (PEP25-08-008). library.samhsa.gov/product/navigating-mental-health-substance-use-care… — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality — Children Living with Parents Who Have a Substance Use Disorder (NSDUH Short Report, 2017; 2009–2014 data). samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/report_3223/ShortReport-3223.html — accessed Oct 2026
- NIAAA — Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help (updated February 2025). niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/treatment-alcohol… — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Find a support group for mental health, drugs, alcohol. samhsa.gov/find-support/health-care-or-support/support-group-or-local-… — accessed Oct 2026
- NIAAA — Support Recovery: It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint (Core Resource on Alcohol). niaaa.nih.gov/health-professionals-communities/core-resource-on-alcoho… — accessed Oct 2026