CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) is a program for families whose loved one keeps refusing help. A therapist meets with you, not with them, and teaches you to make sober time more rewarding, step back when they use, and bring up treatment at the moments they’re most likely to listen.1
If you’ve pleaded, argued or threatened, that’s human. It just tends to backfire: confrontational approaches have been linked to people dropping out of treatment and doing worse.2 And you don’t have to wait for rock bottom; NIAAA notes that a family’s involvement can make a big difference.3 If your loved one just turned you down, start with what to do in the first days after a refusal.
Does CRAFT work?
The best-known trial randomly assigned 130 family members of people with drinking problems who refused treatment to one of three approaches. Only the family members attended sessions; the person drinking didn’t have to agree to anything.1
| Approach the family learned | Loved ones who entered treatment |
|---|---|
| CRAFT | 64% |
| Johnson-style confrontational intervention | 30% |
| Program focused on attending Al-Anon | 13% |
Two other results are worth knowing. About 70% of families assigned to the confrontational approach never went through with the meeting. And family members in all three groups reported similar gains in their own well-being and in their relationship with their loved one.1
The limits are real. This was one study from 1999, and about a third of the CRAFT group’s loved ones still didn’t enter treatment. Al-Anon also isn’t a bad choice because of its lower number: it’s a support group for family members,3 not a method for getting someone into treatment.
What CRAFT teaches you to do
A trained therapist adapts these skills to your family; what follows is a rough outline.
1. Learn their pattern
Map a typical episode: when, where and with whom they use, what happens just before, and what they seem to get out of it. The pattern shows you where to change things, such as planning something else for the hour they usually start.
2. Talk in a way that can be heard
Short, specific requests land better than criticism. Use “I” statements, acknowledge their side and offer to help.
What to say instead
“You’re drunk again. You’re ruining this family.”
“I love spending evenings with you when you haven’t been drinking. Want to watch the game Saturday?”
“You always lie to me.”
“I felt hurt when the money was gone. Can we sit down and look at the account together?”
“If you don’t go to rehab, I’m leaving.”
“I know you don’t think it’s that bad. Would you be willing to talk to a doctor once, just to get information? I’ll go with you.”
There are more phrases in what to say when they get defensive.
3. Reward sober time
When they aren’t using, be warm and present. Plan things they enjoy. Over time, sober evenings should feel better to them than using ones.
4. Step back when they use
When they’re using, quietly pull back: leave the room, skip the outing, don’t argue. Stop calling in sick for them or cleaning up after a binge. This is where CRAFT overlaps with boundaries versus enabling. Letting consequences land doesn’t extend to letting them drive impaired or pushing a daily heavy drinker or benzodiazepine user to quit overnight, since that withdrawal can be dangerous;2 see why some withdrawal needs medical care.
If you’re afraid of your loved one, talk to a professional before you change anything. A shift in how you respond can upset some people.
5. Look after yourself
Your own well-being is a goal of CRAFT in its own right. Make time for rest, friends and support that doesn’t hinge on what they do.
6. Invite them at the right moment
Keep one specific treatment option ready and offer it when a window opens: right after a painful consequence, when they say they regret something, or when they ask why you’ve been acting differently.
Is now a good moment to suggest treatment?
InteractiveAre they drunk, high or in withdrawal right now?
See possible outcomes
- Wait for a sober moment Talks with someone who is intoxicated tend to turn into arguments. Try again when they’re sober.
- Keep building, and get your option ready Keep rewarding sober time, and line up one specific option now so it’s ready when a window opens.
- This may be a window Keep it short and kind: name what happened without blame, offer the option and offer to go with them. If they say no, leave the offer open.
- Line up one option first Windows can close quickly. FindTreatment.gov lists state-licensed providers near you.
Dana’s husband uses fentanyl and had refused treatment three times. Working with a therapist, she noticed he usually used on Friday evenings, so she started planning Friday dinners with his brother. When he came home high, she calmly left the room. She stopped calling his boss with excuses. After a missed paycheck, he asked why she seemed “so different.” She said, “I’m learning to handle my worry. If you want to talk to a doctor about medication, I found one who can see you Tuesday. I’ll drive.” Three weeks later, he went.
How is CRAFT different from an intervention?
| CRAFT | Confrontational intervention | |
|---|---|---|
| Format | Sessions for the family over several weeks | One planned meeting, often a surprise |
| Tone | Positive, low-conflict | Pressure from the whole group |
| If they say no | You keep using the skills | Families may feel they’ve “used up” their chance |
Not every intervention is confrontational; some use gentler, invitational models. See when a planned intervention can help, and its risks.
How do I find a CRAFT therapist?
Ask licensed counselors, psychologists and family therapists directly whether they’re trained in CRAFT. Your doctor, insurer or employee assistance program can refer you to someone who works with families affected by substance use.3 The SAMHSA National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) is free, confidential, open around the clock, and helps family members as well as the person using.5 NIAAA also lists Al-Anon Family Groups and SMART Recovery Family & Friends for people who want a group alongside therapy.3
Keep going after the first yes, too. SAMHSA says support groups or family therapy can make treatment more effective by supporting the whole family.4 Our page on support for family members compares the options.
Questions to ask a therapist before you start
Frequently asked questions
Does CRAFT work for drugs, not just alcohol?
Can I use CRAFT with my adult child?
Yes. CRAFT is built for any concerned family member, including parents of adult children. Living together gives you more chances to reward sober time, but the skills work at a distance too: in phone calls, visits and how you handle requests for money.
Sources
- Miller WR, Meyers RJ, Tonigan JS — Engaging the unmotivated in treatment for alcohol problems: a comparison of three strategies for intervention through family members. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology (1999). pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10535235/ — accessed Oct 2026
- U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Whole Health Library — Substance Use (2014, updated 2019). va.gov/WHOLEHEALTHLIBRARY/docs/substance-use.pdf — accessed Oct 2026
- NIAAA — Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help (updated February 2025). niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/treatment-alcohol… — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — Helping Families Cope with Mental Health and Substance Use Disorders (updated August 2026). samhsa.gov/mental-health/children-and-families/coping-resources — accessed Oct 2026
- SAMHSA — National Helpline. samhsa.gov/find-help/helplines/national-helpline — accessed Oct 2026