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For Families: How to Cope With a Loved One's Addiction

You can't control whether your loved one uses, but you can change how you respond and protect your own health. Start here for support, boundaries, life after rehab and relapse.

By Kyle, Recovery AdvocatorsUpdated October 1, 2026Fact-checked against primary sources · Awaiting expert review

You can’t control whether your loved one drinks or uses. You can control how you respond, and whether you get some support of your own along the way. The pages below follow the order most families live it: while someone is still using, during treatment, and the first months after they come home.

How families respond does matter. SAMHSA points to research showing that family support can play a major role in helping someone with a substance use disorder.1

What’s in this section?

For Families, in reading order

1Getting support for yourself and your familyGroups, family therapy and how to spot burnout2Boundaries vs enablingAm I helping, or making it worse? Examples and scripts3Talking to children about a family member's addictionAge-appropriate words, and why it's not their fault4Why won't the treatment center tell me anything?Privacy law, release forms, and how to stay informed5After rehab: the first 30 days at homeThe discharge plan, aftercare and house expectations6Relapse: what it means and what to do nextLapse vs relapse, overdose risk, stepping care back up

Where should I start?

If you’re not sure which page you need, start with whatever is happening at home this week.

Find your starting point

Interactive

Where is your loved one right now?

See possible outcomes
  • Start with boundaries vs enabling Ask whether something makes recovery easier or makes using easier. A boundary is you saying what you will and won’t do.6 You can stay in touch and still refuse to hand over cash.
  • Get support for yourself first You don’t need your loved one’s permission or progress to get help for yourself.
  • Talk to the kids About 1 in 8 U.S. children age 17 or younger lived with a parent who had a past-year substance use disorder (SAMHSA, 2009–2014 data).5 Children notice more than adults think. Honest, age-appropriate words and steady routines help.
  • Keep the door open You can’t force an adult into recovery. CRAFT (Community Reinforcement and Family Training) teaches families skills to encourage a loved one toward treatment.
  • Ask about a release form A signed release is usually how families get information. See what one can cover.
  • Build the aftercare plan now The next appointment should be booked before discharge day, not after.
  • Adjust the plan If opioids are involved, time without using lowers tolerance, so keep naloxone at home and know the overdose signs.3
One family's path through this section

Dana joined a family support group while her husband was still drinking. She stopped calling his work with excuses and offered to drive him to any appointment he chose. In treatment, he signed a release so she could join discharge planning, and his first outpatient visit was booked before he left. When he drank one weekend that summer, she called his counselor on Monday instead of starting over.

Frequently asked questions

Where can I find a support group for families?

For a loved one’s drinking, NIAAA lists Al-Anon Family Groups and SMART Recovery Family & Friends.2 Some groups are just for family members or children.8 Our guide to family support groups and therapy compares the options, and SAMHSA’s National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) can refer you to local services.1

Can I find out how my adult child is doing in treatment?

Usually only if they give written consent. A federal law, 42 CFR Part 2, protects records from federally assisted substance use programs, and sharing them generally requires the patient’s written permission.47 Bring it up gently, ideally before admission. Our page on why programs stay quiet explains what a release can cover.

If they relapse, was treatment a waste?

No. NIAAA compares a return to drinking to a flare-up of asthma or diabetes: a common, temporary setback. Their provider can help adjust the plan.2

Your next step

Find support for yourself
Make an aftercare plan before discharge →

Sources

  1. SAMHSA — Helping Families Cope with Mental Health and Substance Use Disorders (updated August 2026). samhsa.gov/mental-health/children-and-families/coping-resources — accessed Oct 2026
  2. NIAAA — Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help (updated February 2025). niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/treatment-alcohol… — accessed Oct 2026
  3. SAMHSA — Overdose Prevention and Response Toolkit, PEP23-03-00-001 (updated May 2026). samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/overdose-prevention-response-kit-pep23-… — accessed Oct 2026
  4. SAMHSA — Substance Use Disorders: Statutes, Regulations, and Guidelines (42 CFR Part 2 section; updated May 2026). samhsa.gov/substance-use/treatment/statutes-regulations-guidelines — accessed Oct 2026
  5. SAMHSA, Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality — Children Living with Parents Who Have a Substance Use Disorder (NSDUH Short Report, 2017; 2009–2014 data). samhsa.gov/data/sites/default/files/report_3223/ShortReport-3223.html — accessed Oct 2026
  6. SAMHSA — Mental Health, Drugs and Alcohol: Taking Care of Yourself (2023). samhsa.gov/find-support/helping-someone/caring-for-yourself — accessed Oct 2026
  7. eCFR — 42 CFR § 2.31, Consent requirements (as amended 2024). ecfr.gov/current/title-42/chapter-I/subchapter-A/part-2/subpart-C/sect… — accessed Oct 2026
  8. SAMHSA — Find a support group for mental health, drugs, alcohol. samhsa.gov/find-support/health-care-or-support/support-group-or-local-… — accessed Oct 2026

Keep reading

Getting Support for Yourself and Your FamilyYou deserve support whether or not your loved one accepts help. Compare family groups, CRAFT, counseling and family therapy, and learn the signs you're running on empty.Boundaries vs Enabling: Am I Helping, or Making It Worse?Most families do some of both, out of love and fear. One question sorts most situations: does this make recovery easier, or does it make using easier? Here's how to shift your help.They Relapsed. What Does It Mean, and What Do We Do Now?A return to use is common and doesn't mean treatment failed. How to talk about it once they're sober, get their care team involved, and plan for next time.CRAFT: A Better Way Than Confrontation to Get a Loved One Into TreatmentCommunity Reinforcement and Family Training (CRAFT) teaches you calm, practical skills that make treatment easier to say yes to, and helps you feel better whether or not your loved one goes.Helping Someone You Love With Addiction: A Complete Family GuideWhen someone you love is struggling with drugs or alcohol, you don't need to know everything. You need the next right step. This guide walks families through every decision, from "is something wrong?" to life after treatment.